![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
OMG GUIZ, I love how in Hollywood movies*, stalkers are all cute, sweet, adorable guys, who are only ever stalking someone because the stalker WUVS THEM SO. DAMN. MUCH!
I mean, I know when I was young, I MELTED IN MY KNEES whenever a guy would keep "running into me" and say awesome romantic shit like, "I've been looking for you!" and "Do you need any money? 'Cause I've got some back at my apartment". *SWOON!!!*
Guys and gals, take notes: nothing will make someone who doesn't love you love you faster than you showing up unannounced at their job...and/or their house...and/or the city they moved to to get away from you...Those restraining orders are signs of LOVE!
Helpful Tip
If you're chatting someone up, and the conversation on their end starts going like this:
"Wow, look, there's a DOG over there! You know who likes dogs? My SIGNIFICANT OTHER! And look, the sky! You know who loves the sky? MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER! Let me talk about my SO for awhile now. Boy, I sure love my SO! You can meet them!!! THEY SHOULD BE HERE VERY SOON!!! Did I mention my SO and how much I LOVE THEM???"
That means they're NOT INTERESTED.
You would not believe how many people DO NOT KNOW THIS. Trufax.
This movie looks like a winner, too!
*The main exception to this rule is Lifetime channel movies. In those movies, every single man is a psychotic rapist/murderer/cannibal, and women are only ever safe if they lock themselves into panic rooms with 10 cases of suicide tablets. Gotta love that "female friendly" programming!
Comments
But as a romantic comedy starring Steve Zahn, I'm like "Omg I love Steve Zahn; he is too cute."
...Conflicting emotions, really.
"I have pictures of you but you don't know it."
*BARF*
Wow. That's the kind of line that would make me reach for my pepper-spray.
(I mean, then we'd throw some on-screen safe kinks into it for spice and to tweak people, but the basic premise is that it's safe, sane, and consensual.)
[Edited because I screwed up the HTML the first time around]
Marzano was taken into custody after violating a restraining order filed against him by Kellie Hamilton, 25, an attractive, unmarried kindergarten teacher who is new to the L.A. area. According to Hamilton, Marzano has stalked her for the past two months, spying on her, tapping her phone, serenading her with The Carpenters' "Close To You" at her place of employment, and tricking her into boarding Caribbean-bound jets.
Bwahahaha! I love The Onion.
Edited at 2009-04-10 09:17 pm (UTC)
MY.
GOD.
That movie is so goddamn fucking CREEPY!!! What the FUCK were they THINKING?!!
EWEWEWEW! I have to go take a shower now...
I mean, what kind of world does such a guy live in ?
Eeeeeeee...
Just because you saved some princess from a dragon / a sleeping spell doesn't mean she'll fall in love with you, and will want to have your children !
*sarcasm*
Sigh. I must remember to *GLOMP* the hubby extra hard today.
can'tdoesn't say no!I once had a guy from a gaming group show up on my parent's doorstep (I was living at home at the time). I hadn't told him where I lived, I hadn't invited him over, and I was not going to go anywhere with him. This kind of movie gives the socially clueless and creepy the idea that maybe that kind of thing is all right. It's not. Ever.*
*Unless said guy is a friend and showing up on each other's doorsteps is an acceptable part of the relationship.
This is exactly the kind of thing that would have me dumping the kitchen knives out on the floor and reaching for the sharpest, stabbiest one. That's just not cool.
This kind of movie gives the socially clueless and creepy the idea that maybe that kind of thing is all right
It also doesn't help that a lot of people report having trouble getting the cops to take stalking seriously, too, even with all the laws on the books about it now.
I remember Jezebel ran a post on stalking not too long ago. One of the commentors shared his story of being stalked by a female classmate while he was in college. She would break into his dorm room and accost him in his bed at night while he was trying to sleep. She followed him around and watched him all the time, and she broke into his room when he wasn't there, too.
When he went to the campus cops to ask for help, they made fun of him. He ended up needing to enlist the aid of friends who lived in the dorm to help him figure out how she was breaking into his room (turns out she'd stolen his room key and made a copy of it).
Edited at 2009-04-10 10:47 pm (UTC)
I also prefer the "meet cute" angle where both parties are equally thrown together and not sure about each other initially.
The more of this crap I see, the more I realize that, probably unintentionally, Chasing Amy was an amazing takedown of the nice guy. If only there were an equal takedown of the rom-com stalker dude and the manic pixie dream girl.
I never heard of that movie before, but I tossed it into my Netflix queue. It sounds good!
Chasing Amy was an amazing takedown of the nice guy.
I gotta see that movie. I missed it when it came out. My parents saw it and loved it though.
Oh wait.
I think this just became a different kind of movie.
John Cusack isn't stalking anyone, his buddy says he'll set him up with a girl who likes to have sex.
Then he tries to get there over Christmas break but he ends up on a road trip with Daphne Zuniga. Where they bond but don't do anyone because she has a fiance. I mean, it's clear that this fiance isn't right for her (though not really a bad guy), but she's faithful and Cusack doesn't act on the fact that he's fallen in love with her.
And then he meets the "Sure Thing" of the title and turns her down, despite knowing that the woman he's in love with is with another guy. And he doesn't stalk her at that point, he just goes back to college, IIRC. And that's when they admit the attraction.
Sorry to go on. Plenty of good stalker movies to make fun of. Like, say, that famous Oscar-winning movie, The Graduate.
Interrupting weddings? Not cool man, unless the bride's binging married at knifepoint or gunpoint or you're the Dred Pirate Roberts.
Like, say, that famous Oscar-winning movie, The Graduate.
I've never really understood that movie's popularity. >_o